CHAPTER 7: INARA IS BRAZILIAN
by femmefan1946
Summary: We must suffer for beauty. Set before the BDM, Kaylee/Mal, Zoe/Wash (of course). Humour unless you've been there in which case, hmm, angst?


It had been several weeks since Serenity had been near any prosperous world and Inara had been getting more and more annoyed with the Captain.  
"Without clients I cannot pay my rent and without my rent, Serenity cannot afford to fly." she fumed. "If you are not able to stop regularly at the kind of community where I can find work, it will be necessary for me to leave this ship and find transport that can accommodate my business."  
Mal had hemmed and hawed by finally gave orders to fly to Greenleaf where Inara had several existing clients and where he thought Serenity could pick up some cargo to transport, legally or not.

At dinner Inara asked Kaylee to visit the shuttle and help her with some preparations for her appointments.  
The rest of the crew were fascinated. How could their mechanic help a sophisticated and elegant Companion prepare to meet her wealthy and aristocratic clientele?

"I hope this isn't too strange, mei mei.," Inara told Kaylee once they were in the privacy of her quarters. "But while I can manage most of my cosmetic routine myself, there is one ritual that requires the help of another. It is very important to me and to my clients, but you may find it strange."  
"Wow, Nara. I'll help however you like, but what in the Verse could I help you with? I don't usually wear any makeup cept a little lip colour for fancy."  
"Well it's not what I would be adding. It's subtracting actually.  
"Have you ever had a Brazilian?"  
"That was a country on Earth-that-was, right? I didn't know there were any people around who would still call themselves Brazilian."  
"I'm a little surprised you knew even that, actually. But it isn't a person I'm talking about. Brazil was famous for its beach culture, which sported extremely beautiful women and men who wore very minimal clothing to show off their bodies.  
"To show those bodies to best advantage, they removed all their body hair.  
"A Brazilian is a method of removing body hair. Specifically pubic hair. And most Companions follow the same routine. It's part of our mystique, but being away from civilization and cosmetic parlours for so long… well, what I need is help removing regrowth."  
" I guess. That has to be the strangest and probably most kinky request I've ever had. Do you have a razor? Should you have a hot shower first to soften the hair?"  
"We don't use a razor. That regrows too fast and the stubble is harsh, like a man's beard."  
Kaylee thought about the rough cheeks of some of her lovers. Even the Captain's relatively light beard could be uncomfortable in the morning.  
"So… how?"  
"Wax. What we do is spread warm wax across the area, then push strips of cloth onto the wax. We allow the wax to harden a little, then pull the strips off quickly, like taking off a bandage. The hair comes off with the wax quickly and cleanly and doesn't grow back for weeks."  
"Okay, that sounds easy enough. Would you do me after I do you?"  
"Do you think Mal would appreciate it?" Inara laughed."Certainly. I have enough wax to do you and Zoe and River. Maybe we should do a girls' night?"  
"Yeah! Give our men something to think about! Well, Riv doesn't have a man, but we can't very well leave her out. Lemme go call them."  
"When you do, ask Simon for some smoothers. First time waxing can be uncomfortable. I have some lovely soothing cream for any skin irritation."

When Zoe and River arrived, they agreed that a spa night would be fun. Inara opened her cosmetic trunks and pulled out a huge variety of skin oils, pumice stones, tweezers, body lotions, as well as hair curlers, straighteners, and thickeners. Zoe surprised the other women by producing a large box of perfumes and more lotions.  
"Wash keeps buying me stuff. But he has no idea what I actually will use."  
Inara looked at some of the labels. "You're right. Some of these are quite expensive too. I'm surprised he can afford them."  
"I guess I'm worth it to him."  
The other women laughed companionably.  
"Of course you are, Zo," said Kaylee. " The sun shines out your ass, as far as Wash is concerned."  
"Pretty much."  
While they chatted the women had stripped down to their underwear. While Kaylee wore practical cotton, her panties and bra featured cute kitties and flowers. As expected, Inara wore delicate silk, but while the pieces were cut to expose a lot of flesh, there was also a lot of coverage. Zoe surprised them all. Her brassiere was of dainty pink lace with heavy boning to support her heavy breasts, but there was practically no fabric at all in the matching thong.  
River pulled off her loose dress and bicycle shorts, revealing that she did not wear either a bra or panties.  
The shuttle had a fold down commode and sink combination, like the dorm rooms, but no actual bathing facilities. The women were used to sponge baths and took advantage of having friends to wash their backs and get their hair thoroughly rinsed.  
Kaylee made sure that River's long tresses were washed and rinsed. Inara added a scalp massage to the youngster's treatment and smiled as the girl relaxed and cooed under her clever fingers.

"So who wants to go first with the waxing?" asked Inara.  
"You asked me to do you to begin with, so why not me do you and we can all see what goes on?" Kaylee volunteered.  
"Fine. Also I'm used to it so there will be nothing to startle me."  
Inara heated the sweet smelling beeswax over her tea making stove. She stripped the fine satin sheets off her bed and replaced them with linen, which could be cleaned without damage from any wax drips. She lay down on the sheets and removed her panties.  
"Now, what you have to do is cover my mons veneris, and external labia and perineum with the warm wax. Then quickly, before the wax starts to harden, press the cloth strips into the wax.  
"Once it cools, you pull the cloths away as hard and fast as you can."  
"Okay, got it, except for what are mons veneris, and external labia and perineum?"  
River leaned over the Companion and spread her legs apart, "All over here and here and back here."  
Kaylee was overcome by a fit of the giggles. "I'm not used to this view of women." she explained.  
Zoe passed her the pot of warm wax. "If you can't manage, I think I can."  
"Nope. I'm fine. Just like painting a fence. Tell me if the wax is too hot."  
"Oh, you'd hear if it was!" laughed Inara.  
Kaylee worked quickly. Although the task at hand was unusual, she had quick reflexes and was able to cover the area and press the strips of cloth into the wax in very little time.  
"Okay, Zoe, do you want to do me?"  
Unlike the thin new growth Inara was concerned about, Kaylee's hair was fine and fairly long. Zoe had never seen pubic hair so straight, not even on her very blonde husband. Her own bush was thick and springy, curlier than her luxurious locks, which had straightened under their own weight. Inara, only slightly inconvenienced by all the wax and cloth adorning her crotch, prepared Zoe once she had completed decorating Kaylee.  
The three women were over come by laughter as they surveyed their ridiculous privates.  
River looked on solemnly.  
"What about you, Riv?" asked Kaylee. "Do you want to be as silly looking as we are?"  
"The bandages are on the wrong place."  
"Well, I think we're ready to remove them anyway. Do any of you want an analgesic?" asked Inara.  
"Don't see why. Should we take yours off first?"  
"Yes. As quickly as you can, so everything comes at once."  
Inara braced herself as Kaylee grabbed a loose end and pulled hard, using her strong mechanic's arms.  
The Companion let out her breath with a whoosh and grabbed the bottle of inter engine whiskey Kaylee had brought to the party.  
"Wow Inara you're as bare as a baby's bum! Why would any grownass man want a woman that looks like a little girl?"  
"Actually don't answer that. It could be too disturbing." said Zoe."Me next?"  
Inara gave her some pills. "Take them. This can be uncomfortable for a little while after the strips come off."  
"I can do uncomfortable."  
Inara grasped the strips at Zoe's belly and pulled hard. Zoe gasped and lunged forward. "圣洁他妈的龟睾丸 ！" She yelled. Then she grabbed the whiskey from the side table and gulped it down.  
"You're next, Kaylee, mei mei" crooned Inara.  
"May hap be I could just wash it off?" asked Kaylee stunned by the reaction of the warrior woman, a woman who had stoically accepted multiple gunshot wounds in the time Kaylee had known her.  
"It's just the surprise, mei mei. Honestly, it's over really fast, and then we'll put some of this nice tea tree oil and aloe on lie back."  
"No power in the Verse can stop her," murmured River.  
Nervously Kaylee lay back on the linen sheets while Inara grasped the cloth strips and Zoe pranced in the background grasping her own crotch and swearing imaginatively in English and Chinese.  
Inara pulled and Kaylee's groin caught fire. Pain swept over her and her eyes nearly popped out of her head."一条紫色的蛇血 ！他妈的喂养 mulllet 肝脏的底部!脏土褐色 ！绿色的眼睛麻风昆虫 ！" she screamed.

In the cargo bay, the men were playing a fast game of nameless ball. When the screaming erupted, they stopped and stared up at the airlock entrance to the shuttle.  
"Usually you can't hear a thing that is going on in there." said Jayne, with a lascivious grin.  
"And I've spoken to you before about tryin' " scolded Mal. "Think they're all right? Could that sister of yourn gone batshit on them?"  
"Zoe's up there. She could handle anything short of a Reaver attack, all by herself." Wash replied." Besides the only one of us River has ever hurt is Jayne. "  
"I could go and see. But Inara did ask me for some smoothers.."  
"And you gave them to her? What kinda party did she say they were havin anyways?"  
The initial scream, which Mal had identified as Zoe, based on some war cries he had heard from her in the distant past, was replaced by a higher pitched stream of filthy language.  
"That sounds like Kaylee," said Mal. "she don't sound too happy."  
"Should we go up?"  
The men turned to Wash, as the married man and the one with the most experience in living with a woman.  
"I think we should let them work out the problem themselves. They seem to be a mite upset at the moment and it wouldn't do to make them decide it was us they are upset with."


End file.
